The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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