i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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