My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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