My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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