why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are we in a gay sports bar?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
