Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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