Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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