I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
