oh god the rape fog is back!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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