What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
