New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
