i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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