i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
