Your tits are I can't wait for
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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