im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
