My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
