Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
