They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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