saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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