Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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