So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
