I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
