My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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