go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
