He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
How's work?
Spinning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
