Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
