how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
