I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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