You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
