ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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