me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
How's work?
Spinning.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
