i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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