do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
