In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
