i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
