did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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