Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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