First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And then he peed in my hair
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