NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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