At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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