KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
