when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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