So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
