soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
