is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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