I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
