She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
