so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
