Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
