So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
