Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
