im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
