Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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